i cant feel my fingers anymore

so its late or early and i been doing some heavy thinking. mostly about how i manage to get so cold, yet all i do about it is throw on a blanket and complain when im barefoot...

anyways

i always feel strange about blogging about my personal life. its supposed to be a private thing and im a fairly big fan of keeping things that way. but apparently all the cool kids are throwing their lives out into the internet so i way as well. maybe it'll get lost in the cracks.

upon a discussion with a friend of mine, i've made a fairly intense discovery about myself. i can't have a serious discussion, even about something thats hurt me or made me sad without making a joke or attempting to diffuse the situation with humour. i dont think i'd ever thought about it til he pointed it out and now its bothering me.

I had a deep discussion with my father tonight. i appreciate his apologies and all, but i dont understand how he thinks a trip to a bookstore will make everything better. perhaps because its the one thing we have in common. still, presumptous and silly. i almost enjoyed turning down his offer.

i'm still pondering whether i want to let him attempt to buy my love or just forget it.

its interesting how your relationships with your parents can affect your romantic life. the more i think about it, the more it disturbs me.

song i like:
Boten Anna - Basshunter
its about a boy and his computer, but its in swedish so its cool