i havent blogged in a while. i should do it more often.

Anyways, i just caught up on my friend's blog which was an interesting and entertaining experience. I am now listening to Stuck In the Middle With You. havent heard it in a long time and it makes me happy :)

So its almost Christmas and im not sure how i feel about it. I'm feeling more apathetic about it this year than ever before and its making people around me angry. My big sister is home and is spending her time pissing me off and losing her luggage.

When did we decide to give presents to each other? and when did parents decide that their spoiled little brats deserve anything their little hearts desire and it is their right to snowplow anyone who gets between them and the Wii that they HAVE to have and abuse any and all employees that can't fulfill their every whim? im a tad bitter if you couldnt tell.

in defense of the Christmas spirit and all that jazz, it does tend to make people more generous. I had a group of people come into the pub after a hockey game and the first guy who left paid for them all (secretly). It was right at the end of my shift and it made my night a little brighter.

Charities use this generous spirit to their advantage and are all out there in full force, pushing starving children and homeless puppies on people. I support a lot of these organizations and im pretty sure ive given more money away this year than ever before. Some people think its a huge conspiracy for money that never gets to the kids, but im pretty sure at least some of it gets there and that's enough for me. Also it seems silly to hold on to my money to spend it on something pointless when it could be helping others with their basic everyday needs. It's only money and there's more where that came from.

Also in the spirit of Christmas and family and such, im very happy my parents are fairly sane people. I often take them for granted, when they are in fact, incredibly loving and fantastic people. They arent perfect, but after a conversation with a friend of mine the other night, i want to go home every night, hug them, and thank them for being there.

it makes me really sad when i think about the way some people treat their kids. No parents are perfect, but you can try to learn from your mistakes and make yourself better.

I could go on, but ive already shaken out a ton of brain contents tonight and its a lot for anyone reading this. its what happens when i ignore blogging for a while.

i cant feel my fingers anymore

so its late or early and i been doing some heavy thinking. mostly about how i manage to get so cold, yet all i do about it is throw on a blanket and complain when im barefoot...

anyways

i always feel strange about blogging about my personal life. its supposed to be a private thing and im a fairly big fan of keeping things that way. but apparently all the cool kids are throwing their lives out into the internet so i way as well. maybe it'll get lost in the cracks.

upon a discussion with a friend of mine, i've made a fairly intense discovery about myself. i can't have a serious discussion, even about something thats hurt me or made me sad without making a joke or attempting to diffuse the situation with humour. i dont think i'd ever thought about it til he pointed it out and now its bothering me.

I had a deep discussion with my father tonight. i appreciate his apologies and all, but i dont understand how he thinks a trip to a bookstore will make everything better. perhaps because its the one thing we have in common. still, presumptous and silly. i almost enjoyed turning down his offer.

i'm still pondering whether i want to let him attempt to buy my love or just forget it.

its interesting how your relationships with your parents can affect your romantic life. the more i think about it, the more it disturbs me.

song i like:
Boten Anna - Basshunter
its about a boy and his computer, but its in swedish so its cool

Chips, Dip and Bad Assery

Bad assery is a new word i discovered. i forget where. prepare to hear it. a lot. 

ANYWHO.

I have yet to pick up my potential patio furniture. Should probably get on that. My brother filled my ipod with random music so as of right now i'm not entirely sure what it all is. but yes my story....

i was walking home from work and the song playing on my shuffle was I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry. I think this song is hilarious b/c she wrote it as a total joke to make fun of people who get pissed off by gay people. anyways i laughed my way home. and then i was almost at my driveway when my small brother Steve ran out and attacked me. He does that.

I smack peoples butts. It's my thing. I'm not opposed to having my butt smacked. it's gonna happen anyways so i may as well accept it. once my former boss was talking about pockets on jeans and started pointing and pulling at mine to make his point. he was quite confused when i didn't react to him touching my ass.

I also discovered a supercool way to divert attention if one is a celebrity. Oddly enough, i saw it in a Britney Spears video. Sneak a bunch of people of your similar height and build into your residence. Everybody dress exactly the same and wear sunglasses and wigs. Then spilt up and all meet up and the desired location later. It's brilliant! Trenchcoats work best b/c you can hide your actual clothes underneath! must use this plan sometime....

I just cracked my neck. i dont understand why people think cracking joints are gross. i take pride in the fact that i can crack most of my joints at will. My mother didn't like holding my hand as a child b/c my fingers would crack if she gripped in the slightest.

well i'm gonna post this now b/c beccya is jonesing for a blog fix

Late night thoughts

SO!

I bought 4 chairs today. They may or may not be patio furniture. I do not know and i do not care. The reason for all my hording of household items and furniture is my eagerness to move out. And when this time comes, i plan to be fully equipped! 

It's kind of funny that i'm so psyched about moving out. My family is tolerable (i suppose :)) and generally i am quite content.

But i do need some element of freedom in my life and i am certain my relationship with my parents can only improve once i stop lying and sneaking around! More revolutionary thoughts to follow.

funny story about celery: the amish/mennonites give it as a wedding present because it is supposed to help fertility. Judging from the huge sizes of their families, i'm gonna say it works. back in the day they said it was asparagus. who knows?

I can't find my chapstick :( and contrary to the oh-so-popular kate perry song, cherry chapstick doesn't taste like anything. It smells tasty and so one might be fooled into thinking that it tastes good, but it's all an elaborate lie. My brother once ate a stick of cherry chapstick.

i don't wear pink. i didn't used to wear it on principle and now i can't buy it. It's like if i picked it up in a store something drastic would happen. It makes me feel like i betrayed some inner part of me. How odd is that? 

Also i think anyone who has known me for any length of time would have a heart attack if they saw me wearing pink. i might do it just for kicks :)

thoughts again

My hair smells really good right now. 

more thoughts i had regarding the picking of potential boyfriends and so on: 

unless you're going for short meaningless fling, DON'T date a boy who is not as smart as you. it will make you happy for a short time until you find yourself constantly correcting him and winning every argument just because he can't be bothered to pick up a newspaper and update himself on current events, and just goes by what he hears.

on the same note, don't date a boy who doesn't read. if the last thing he read was either a children's book or Playboy, make your excuses and flee the scene.

A recent piece of clever advice i received was that you shouldn't go out with someone who's music you cannot tolerate and vice versa. in retrospect, that would have made a great deal of difference to me.

a pet peeve of mine are boys who cannot be removed from their gaming devices. i have slowly fostered a hatred for the majority of video games (except the Wii :) ) and cannot abide people who are addicted to gaming. 

if you are usually up on current events, make sure that you find someone who you discuss these with. Otherwise you will be rambling on about the state of affairs in the UK and, not knowing any better, he will blithely agree with you. (being agreed with all the time is not all its cracked up to be). 

more thoughts as they come to me

Part 2!

Now for men!

Well...

I know a lot of men/guys/boys. I make friends with them easier, find them more entertaining, and often more helpful than many girls i know. The majority of my friends have been guys since i was about 7, so i have had a lot of time to observe the male gender. And contrary to popular belief, as a group, they are not a complicated people. 

This is also a synopsis of what i have learned in my collective relationships/meaningless flings.

Boys want sex, food, understanding and a little love. Usually in that order. 

 Complete honesty in a relationship is not only impossible, its a bad idea. Neither one of you really wants to know how many people the other has kissed, whether you ever had a crush on their brother (or sister), etc. Sometimes a white lie can save a relationship while complete honesty is a little ridiculous. Anyone who saw the episode of that 70's Show where Kelso told Jackie about every lie he ever told her will understand my point.

While we're talking about lying, may as well talk about acting. If you want him to stay interested, pretend you like stuff you secretly hate. Whether its the biting, the incessant phone calls, or just his music. Sometimes it works itself out, but its a short term strategy mostly. 

 Even if a boy tells you that he loves you for you, he's still gonna try to change things about you. Some boys are subtle, some are rather blunt. One boy asked me that i wear tighter jeans. i made him pay for them. If you don't have a problem with the change, don't let him know. Make him fight for it. Its more fun this way. Also it makes him feel like he earned it. 

I know girls do this to their men as well, so introduce a little bit of give and take. He stops wearing that god-awful shirt and you will wear a lower cut one on Tuesday. Boobs usually trump everything. More on that later. 

Yeah i can only cram so many thoughts into one post so thats it for now!

Self-reflective thoughts

As odd as this sounds, I've been doing a great deal of soul searching recently, mostly on the direction of my life as far as long-term commitments go and so on. I find it very odd to post my findings on the internet, but apparently nothing is private anymore so here goes my mini rant (in point form for easy reading!)

As women, we give ourselves unrealistic expectations. The general populous teaches us that we cannot be happy unless we have a man (or woman if you swing that way) in our lives. 

And after we have found said man, we must work super hard at keeping him interested, because that is our jobs as good little gf's/wives. 

Oh yeah and you have to have kids too. and if you stay at home then your children will hate you for being smothering and people will think you are lazy for not getting a"real job". 

Now if you do go out and get a job/career, your children will be bitter that you were never there, people will judge you for that. 

If you try and do both, you will almost certainly burnout or one half of your life will suffer. This leads to a downward spiral of depression and alcoholism (not always but work with me here)

Worth it? I think not.

Note: this is part one of my rant. part two is about men which should be fun times. 

First blog

well....i actually did have a blogspot account way back in the day before they were cool, but i neglected it and so it disappeared into the abyss. I use that phrase a lot. there must be an abyss somewhere filled with half filled blogs, unfinished thoughts and the remainder of my life :(. 

But yes so i'm single now....and kind of loving it. i've always enjoyed being single (as most of you know) and am happy to continue on with my single lady ways. Although i will miss the convenient excuse of  "can't. I have a boyfriend", i do like being available. 

Enough about that. I love books. I get this from my father. He has a million books in his library and has only read about 1/4 of them. We sabotage bookstores that are going out of business and buy up half the shop. Currently I am reading The Other Boleyn girl. Decent story, hilarious, and I found myself sympathizing with the most unlikely character. sadly, he dies about a third of the way in. Cried myself to sleep (not really). 

Anybody know the list of the BBC's 100 books everybody should read? Counting the Bible I've read exactly 50. And i recently looked at a copy of the Handmaids Tale and decided it looks interesting. Not a huge fan of Margaret Attwood, but worth a shot.